About | Kurtis Mercer

My Story

How’s it going, brother?

My name is Kurtis Mercer, and I created Autopilot to Alive because I know what it feels like to survive life instead of actually living it.

For years, I was stuck in cycles that I didn’t fully understand.

Working exhausting jobs.
Living paycheck to paycheck.
Feeling emotionally overwhelmed.
Questioning my purpose.
Numbing myself with distractions.
Trying to hold everything together while internally falling apart.

And from the outside, most people probably would’ve thought I was “fine.”

But deep down, I wasn’t alive.

I was surviving.

The Survival Mode Years

I’ve worked welding jobs, factory jobs, meat department jobs, camp jobs doing 80-hour weeks with almost no time off, and long stretches of night shift work that completely drained me physically and mentally.

For a long time, I thought welding was going to be my future.

Part of that came from the fact that my dad was a welder, and after college he helped connect me with opportunities through people he knew in the industry. So I kept trying to force myself into a life that looked stable on paper… even though internally something felt deeply wrong

And eventually my body started telling the truth that my mind was trying to ignore.

I remember one night getting home from work still wearing my coveralls. I sat down on the couch planning to watch Netflix for a little while before supper.

Instead, I passed out completely exhausted.

I woke up around 9 PM still wearing my work clothes, still on the couch, hadn’t eaten supper, and honestly felt angry at myself and confused about what was happening to me.

At the time, I thought something was wrong with me.

But looking back now, I realize I was deeply disconnected from who I actually was.

I was trying to build a life that didn’t align with the way God created me.

And that internal disconnection slowly turned into emotional exhaustion, depression, escapism, addiction, numbness, and survival mode.

Addiction, Shame & Escaping Myself

I’ve been through addiction.
Drugs.
Alcohol.
Partying.
Escapism.

I know what it feels like to come home mentally exhausted and completely zone out.

Scrolling endlessly.
Watching random videos.
Watching video game reviews without even playing the games.
Living through distractions because reality felt too heavy.

And underneath all of that was shame.

Shame for not feeling successful enough.
Shame for feeling behind in life.
Shame for not feeling understood.
Shame for feeling emotionally overwhelmed as a man.

I thought I needed to suppress all of it and just “push through.”

But internally, I was collapsing.

I tried different paths searching for purpose and identity.

College.
University.
Relationships.
Career paths.
Trying to become “successful.”
Trying to become “normal.”

I got married.
Tried building a stable life.
Tried doing what I thought I was supposed to do.

But underneath it all, I was carrying wounds I didn’t even fully understand yet.

Fear of abandonment.
Emotional overwhelm.
Feeling misunderstood.
Feeling like I would never truly become the man I wanted to be.

And spiritually, I struggled deeply too.

For a long time, I believed God was disappointed in me.
Angry at me.
Ashamed of me.

I thought I constantly had to prove my worth.

And that mindset kept me trapped in fear, guilt, self-hatred, and survival mode.

The Breaking Point

Everything finally came crashing down when my marriage fell apart.

And honestly… as painful as that season was, it forced me to confront truths about myself that I had spent years avoiding.

For the first time in my life, I realized:

I was actually poor.

Sure, I had jobs.
Sure, I worked hard.
Sure, I could survive.

But I wasn’t financially free.
I wasn’t emotionally healthy.
I wasn’t building a future.
I was trapped in survival mode while convincing myself that survival was enough.

And the painful reality was that before everything fell apart, my wife was carrying burdens that I should have been able to carry myself.

At the time, I didn’t fully understand that.

But after the separation, after being alone with myself, after reflecting deeply on my life, I realized how much fear, shame, scarcity, and childhood conditioning had shaped the way I thought about money, success, identity, purpose, and even God Himself.

My external life was reflecting my internal world.

And internally, I was living with limitation, fear, insecurity, and a deep belief that I was not capable of building something greater.

I had built belief systems around lack.

That life was mostly about surviving.
Paying bills.
Barely getting by.
Trying not to drown.

And when I finally saw that clearly, something shifted.

Because I realized those beliefs weren’t truth.

They were wounds.

The Shift Into Becoming Alive

Healing didn’t happen overnight.

But slowly, things began changing from the inside out.

My habits changed.
My mindset changed.
My relationship with God changed.

Instead of constantly consuming distractions, I started learning.

I became obsessed with growth, entrepreneurship, emotional health, nervous system regulation, self-awareness, psychology, leadership, faith, and purpose.

Instead of spending all my energy escaping my life, I started building one.

I started waking up earlier.
Developing structure.
Keeping promises to myself.
Building discipline.
Thinking differently about the future.

And over time, I began realizing something that Scripture had been saying all along:

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” — Philippians 4:13

Not some things.
Not easy things.

All things.

That changed the way I saw myself.

Because for most of my life, I had unconsciously believed I was limited.

Limited by my past.
Limited by my emotions.
Limited by my finances.
Limited by fear.
Limited by shame.

But once I started healing internally, I realized those limitations had become part of my identity.

And they no longer had to define me.

Even now, I still work a regular job and live a grounded, simple life in many ways.

But the difference is that now I’m building something meaningful alongside it.

I’m no longer mentally trapped.

I’m building a future with purpose, vision, discipline, faith, brotherhood, creativity, and long-term direction.

And for the first time in my life, I genuinely believe that the life God placed inside me is actually possible.

Why Autopilot to Alive Exists

This isn’t about fake motivation.

It’s not empty self-help.

And it’s not pretending life is easy.

This is about real transformation.

The kind that happens when men finally stop abandoning themselves and start becoming honest about what’s really happening internally.

Because so many men today are silently struggling.

Burnout.
Shame.
Addiction.
Loneliness.
Divorce.
Financial pressure.
Identity confusion.
Emotional suppression.
Fear.
Disconnection from God.
Disconnection from purpose.

And most men have never actually been taught how to process any of it.

That’s why Autopilot to Alive exists.

To help men reconnect with themselves, reconnect with God, heal the deeper patterns driving their lives, and start building a future rooted in truth, purpose, discipline, peace, brotherhood, faith, and genuine aliveness.

The Vision Moving Forward

My journey is still ongoing.

I’m still growing.
Still learning.
Still healing.
Still becoming.

But the shift has been real.

And now I want to help other men experience that same transformation.

Because brother…

Your past does not disqualify you.
Your shame does not define you.
And your current circumstances are not the end of your story.

There is more inside you than you realize.

And no matter how stuck you feel right now—

It’s time to come alive.