Rewriting the Story: How Christian Men Rewriting Their Story Shapes Reality

kurtis786
Sep 29
3 min read

Updated: Oct 1

Christian men rewriting their story — overcoming dysregulation and false narratives to live grounded in Christ.

Why Christian Men Rewriting Their Story Matters in Dysregulation

Most of the time, the problem isn’t reality — it’s the story we tell ourselves about reality.

Trauma and dysregulation have a way of twisting facts into false narratives. And if you’ve lived through pain, you know what I’m talking about.

You get a text back from your wife that says: “okay.” That’s all it says. But instead of taking it as neutral, your story becomes: “She’s cold. She doesn’t care. She’s done with me.” And suddenly, a single word has you spiraling.

Or maybe your boss gives you a little feedback: “Next time, just tighten this part up.” Instantly the story kicks in: “He doesn’t respect me. I’m failing. I’ll never measure up.”

The facts were simple. But the story made it heavy. And most of the time, that story isn’t objective reality. It’s trauma. It’s dysregulation. It’s the wound talking.

And this is why Christian men rewriting their story is so crucial — because without reframing the false narrative, dysregulation will always control the way you see your marriage, your work, and even your walk with God.

When Wounds Write the Story

I remember back when me and Lesley got into arguments, and I’d storm off thinking she didn’t believe in me.

I told myself the story that she thought I couldn’t handle life, couldn’t handle responsibility. But later, reflecting in a calmer state, I realized — that wasn’t the truth. That was my wound from childhood speaking. That was the little boy inside who always felt doubted and dismissed. And in that state, I projected it onto her.

Your State Shapes the Story

Here’s what’s wild: your state shapes the story.

When you’re calm, regulated, grounded — the story is clear. You can hear feedback, you can receive a text, you can face silence, and you don’t crumble.
But when you’re dysregulated, the story bends into fear, shame, and blame. And that story becomes a trap.

How to Rewrite the Story

So how do you stop living in false narratives?

Awareness — Say it out loud: “This thought doesn’t match the facts. This is dysregulation talking.” Naming it gives you power over it.
Breathe & Anchor — Slow down your body before you try to fix the story. Sometimes I’ll literally put my hand on my chest and pray: “Jesus, help me see clearly.”
Replace with Truth — Instead of “She doesn’t care about me,” rewrite it: “She gave me a short reply. That’s all I know. Anything else is a story I’m adding.” Instead of “My boss thinks I’m useless,” rewrite it: “He asked me to improve one area. That means he trusts me with responsibility.”

The enemy loves to weaponize your state to write lies into your story. But Christ gives you the power to rewrite it in truth.

The Takeaway

When the story feels heavy, don’t just run with it. Pause. Breathe. Ask:

“Is this fact — or is this my state?”

That simple question could save your marriage, your friendships, your purpose. Because when you regulate your fire, you stop living out of the false story — and you start living in truth.

Trauma warps reality. Dysregulation shapes the story. But Christ restores it. And your job is to stay grounded enough to notice the difference.