Don’t Be Afraid to Lose Your Tribe: The Power of Standing Alone

kurtis786
Oct 12
2 min read

Kurtis Mercer speaking intensely into a microphone wearing sunglasses and a black shirt with white sleeve pattern, with bold white text reading “TRUTH COSTS CROWDS” beside an image of a hooded man sitting alone on a bench against a dark red background — symbolizing courage, isolation, and the price of honesty.

Why Men Stay Small — and the Fear of Standing Alone

“Don’t be afraid to lose your tribe. A lot of men stay small because they’re terrified of rocking the boat — terrified of being alone. But if you can’t stand alone, you’ll never know who you actually are.”

So many guys — and I used to be one of them — avoid disagreement because we think it means disconnection. We want to please, to belong, to keep the peace. Somewhere along the way, we start believing:

“If I disagree with you, I’m against you.”

That’s a lie.

We’re all individuals. Sometimes we’ll have beliefs that don’t match the people we love — and that’s normal. But when you voice those differences, people might push back. They might guilt you, manipulate you, shame you. That’s when you’ve got to be assertive — know who you are and be willing to stand alone if you need to.

The Fear of Being Alone

A lot of men can’t handle being alone. The second they’re by themselves, they numb out — video games, endless scrolling, constant distraction. That’s a red flag.

If you can’t sit quietly with yourself, your identity is being built by the loudest voices around you.

Isolation is uncomfortable but powerful. Being alone forces you to ask:

“Why do I feel anxious right now?” “Why do I want to escape?” “What’s going on inside me?”

You can’t ask those questions if you’re always surrounded by noise and input.

The Mask We Wear

Watch how easy it is to adapt. The more friends, the more masking. Laughing at things you don’t even find funny. Nodding along when guys talk about women like objects, just to fit in.

But real courage is standing there and saying,

“Nah. That’s messed up. "Even if it’s awkward.

Stepping out of the group is scary, but if you don’t, you’ll look back and realize you’ve been shaped by everyone else — not by your own convictions. That’s how people end up numb, lost, unsure who they really are.