When Life Feels Like It’s Falling Apart | Christian Men Dysregulation

kurtis786
Oct 1
2 min read

Christian men dysregulation — hand reaching toward light as a symbol of hope and breaking free from shame

What Christian Men Dysregulation Really Sounds Like

“You want to know what Christian men dysregulation really sounds like? Let me be real with you.

When I was unemployed, my wife was paying for everything. And instead of being grateful, I felt like a burden.

I told myself I’d failed her. In my head it became:

“She’s disappointed in me. She’s just pretending to be supportive so I don’t collapse. She knows I’m worthless. She’s probably going to leave me. I’m not a man. I’m not worthy.”

That’s what dysregulation sounds like. Even when she encouraged me, I didn’t hear encouragement. I heard a mask. I heard shame twisting her words into rejection.

The Body Keeps the Score

It wasn’t just thoughts. It was my whole body.

Chest tight.
Shoulders heavy.
Stomach in knots.

Every email notification from Indeed or LinkedIn spiked my heart rate. I’d open it, see the word “Rejected”, and spiral instantly: “I’m unskilled. I have no value. My life is pointless because this company said no.”

I had sent out hundreds of resumes. I couldn’t control when a company would call. I couldn’t control when another door would open.

That uncertainty fed the shame. It dug down into identity.

The Wound Beneath the Wound

And underneath it all was something older — childhood messages that whispered:

“You’re not special. You’re not important.”

For me, that tied back to living with ADHD. Always feeling different. Always feeling like I didn’t measure up no matter how hard I tried.

When dysregulation takes over, you stop believing in abundance, joy, excitement — even fun.

Life shrinks down to performance. Constant measuring. Endless comparison. Your worst moment against someone else’s highlight reel. And of course, you come up short.

What Dysregulation Really Is

That’s dysregulation.

It convinces you you’re not capable. It fuses your identity with shame. It traps you in survival mode.

But here’s the truth: that state isn’t you.

It’s a nervous system stuck in overdrive. It’s trauma and shame teaming up to write a false story.

And here’s why this matters:

When you can name it, when you can see it for what it is, you start to take back your power. You find the gap between the trigger and the reaction. You begin to regulate your fire instead of being ruled by it.