To Change Your Life, You Must First Change Your Nervous System

So, yeah, I'm realizing, especially going to the gym, actually going to the gym instead of doing workouts at home, it's bringing a really interesting mindset—a new expansive mindset.

I've been working out at home, lifting weights, for about eight years, every Tuesday and Thursday. Sometimes I miss, but most of the time I'm always doing it.

But that does not actually involve any cardio whatsoever. It was just lifting weights. And lifting weights, I realized, is only a tiny bit of the process as opposed to the rest of your body.

When I lift weights at home, it didn't even feel good anymore. The only good feeling that I felt wasn't physiologically—it was just mentally that I'm able to be around my computer and video games and all these potential distractions and still stand in place and do the workout. But there's no physiological sensations or anything like that.

When I went to the gym for the first time in like two years—and two years ago, I don't even really count that because I was working a 9-to-5 job at that point and I literally went like twice, actually not even twice, like once—it was just the scheduling and driving there. I just didn't have the energy, or the mood, or the mindset. It was the furthest thing from my mind. It was more a nuisance than anything.

And I didn't realize it, but I didn't even know why I was really doing it.

Totally different now. Completely different ballgame. I'm a completely different person. My nervous system is totally changed.

That's why I'm literally able to plan to actually start going to the gym and immediately go out, get a fucking membership, and then literally get a lock. And then the next day, I'm waking up at 4:30 in the morning and I'm rearing to go. I was even up five minutes before 4:30 in the morning.

So now, when I choose to do something, I just do it. I take action, and it fucking happens.

The reason why I'm able to do that easily now is because time and time again, my nervous system went through the inner work of feeling that bitter loneliness, the resentment that I held toward other people, the guilt that I had toward myself and the so-called mistakes that I made—even though it was just a learning process—and the shame that came along with that.

Processing anger.

Processing being poor and not taking responsibility over my life.

Blaming other people for my mistakes.

Going through all of that stuff and actually feeling those emotions and processing all those things, which took a year or more. Actually, more than that.

And now, because I did that, my nervous system has actually widened its window of tolerance.

Now I'm able to do things that are difficult, that are different. I'm able to challenge myself, take risks, go into new environments, and understand that I can be safe in those new environments—and not just safe, but thrive.

So when I decide to go to the gym, start lifting weights, and wake up every morning committed to that, my nervous system is like:

"Oh, we're doing this now. Okay, sounds good. Let's go."

It understands that's what we're doing.

Instead of what happens with most people.

They're not actually able to get to that point where they can start doing a different thing, a different action, like going to the gym at 4:30 in the morning over and over again every day, because their nervous system still doesn't feel safe.

They didn't process the shit that's in their past.

The stuff that's still coming up and sabotaging them.

So all of these different mindsets are going to come up when they start doing something different.

There's going to be excuses.

"Oh, it's too early to get up."

"Nobody's up right now."

"Why are you even doing that?"

"That's annoying."

"You could just sleep in and get a good night's sleep."

And then next week comes.

Or the next day.

And another excuse shows up.

"Oh, I'll do it tomorrow."

"I'm just finishing up this game with some friends online."

"We're having a good time."

Then the next day:

"Oh, I'm gonna go to the bar and hang out with the guys."

"I'm working, so it's justified."

"The gym will always be there."

"Eventually I'll get to it."

And you just make excuse after excuse because you don't actually know what you want.

Your nervous system has literally hijacked you.

You're stuck in a pattern of what feels safe.

And what feels safe is going to the bar.

Sleeping in.

Taking your time.

Taking it easy.

And unfortunately, even the nine-to-five life can become that pattern of familiarity.

Now, I'm not saying quit your nine-to-five.

But when you do the same thing for years and years on end, your nervous system can get locked into this autopilot pattern where safety comes from familiarity.

The familiarity of your job.

A paycheck every two weeks.

The same coworkers.

The same conversations.

The same routines.

You start connecting safety with predictability.

Then you start to see relationships through that same lens.

The connection you have with coworkers.

The amount of time you spend with your wife or girlfriend.

The emotional energy you put into those relationships.

Or more accurately, the emotional energy you actually have left.

Because at the end of the day, after work, you're trying to communicate with your significant other, but it's less genuine connection and more a programmed routine.

You're watching TV.

Talking about what happened over the weekend.

Listening, but not really listening.

Not because you're a bad person.

Because you don't have the emotional energy or nervous system capacity to take in new experiences.

So you're living on autopilot.

That is what happens when you choose to live a life that is predictable and safe.

When you actually decide to start doing the inner work, you can finally get to a point where you have total control over your nervous system.

Which means you have control over your mind.

People say:

"In order to change your life, you have to change your mindset."

Well, you can't change your mindset if you haven't changed your nervous system first.

If that was true, then every fucking New Year's resolution would work.

People would just decide to change and then change.

But most people don't.

Most people last a week or two and then boom.

Boom.

Done.

Finished.

Then they wonder:

"Why didn't it stick?"

Because of your nervous system.

Your nervous system affects your mind.

You can try all day long to work out at the gym.

Get up early.

Eat better.

Follow a different diet.

Stop playing video games.

Stop watching pornography.

Whatever it is.

You can commit to those things all day long.

But it's not going to work.

It's not going to stick.

Because you haven't done the inner work yet.

So if you want results...

If you want to go far in life...

If you want to transform...

If you want all the money, all the wealth, all the fame, all the influence...

If you want to be the best version of yourself that you can be...

You literally are a genie that can grant those wishes for yourself if you understand that you do the inner work first.

Then you have total control over your mind.

That's why I can literally say:

"I want to go to the gym and wake up at 4:30 in the morning."

And then start going to the gym every single day at 4:30 in the morning.

And I can do it the next day.

Continue doing it.

Know that I'm going to do it.

And actually love doing it like it's Christmas morning every morning.

The reason why I can do that is because I did the work.

That's how important the inner work is.

If you don't understand that, you're going to stay in a cycle over and over again of:

"This is something I want to do."

But you never do it.

Or you try to do it and it doesn't stick.

Then you guilt yourself.

You make excuses.

You develop belief systems that say:

"I don't really need this."

"I'm safe where I am."

"I'm happy where I am."

Maybe it was cool to think about making a million dollars.

Having freedom.

Creating something bigger.

But then you convince yourself:

"I'm okay where I am."

You make excuses to support and maintain the small life you've been living.

So you are in control.

You are the only one that can change the way you show up in life and how you affect the world around you.

So are you gonna fucking take action?

Or are you gonna sit on your ass and continue living in autopilot?

It's your choice. 🔥 Want to Go Deeper?

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